It’s my auto utterance whenever something doesn’t go the way I expected. It’s kind of embarrassing now that my son has made me aware that I say this. It’s a sort of ingrained, instinctual thing that I cannot control. Salmon filet falls to the ground next to the grill: Whoops! Baby falls backward in his chair: Whoops! Glass of milk spills all over the place: Whoops!
I am air born due to an icy step on our deck: Whoops! followed quickly by “ughmph … uhhmmm ohhh ouch,” as gravity pulls me back down, ribs first, into the step.
Can I just say first off that it’s May. This happened on the 7th of MAY. Yes, I live in the mountains and it can snow well into June (July if we’re insisting on honesty). But really? My deck should not have been covered in ice. Also, for the record, it didn’t look like ice. It looked wet. It had rained all night. Logically, the deck should be WET, not ICY.
So, I lay sprawled across the step, in my fleecy bathrobe, one flip flop on, the other one somewhere in the yard. Wilson made his way to my head and sniffed my hair. “Thanks for the support, dog,” I mumbled. “I wouldn’t be here without you.” My son wasn’t due to wake up for another hour. I either needed to drag my sorry whoopsied self back in the house or settle in for a cold sunrise. Up I got. I don’t know who ever thought “gingerly” was the right way to describe someone moving in pain. I creaked like the rusty Tin Man with a knife in his back.
I managed to get my coffee, then shower and finish out my Junior Achievement volunteer commitment for the day. Since returning home that day, I’ve been a pathetic lump, groaning with each wrong move. Nothing is broken. I know this because my family made me go to the urgent care place Friday morning because they were sick of listening to me whine. So now I have good pain meds which are supposed to help me sleep but don’t. Waaaah.
The best things in all of this: My husband took fabulous care of me all weekend, and since today is Mother’s Day, it was ok that I just sat in front of Netflix all afternoon. Also, I learned that our ugly Lay-Z Boy recliner is absolutely AWESOME. I have never sat in this thing as much as I have the last three days. I am in it now. My life may never be the same now that I have discovered the joy of Lay-Z Boy. La la la.
The worst thing: I was just starting to get my legs back into biking mode. I’m thinking that melting into an ugly recliner for several days in a row will not get me up Vail Pass anytime soon.