I’m having A Day. I just don’t have the answers to life’s questions, or the energy to be understanding with the guy at the auto shop that didn’t fix it right the first time, or the focus to accomplish any one thing, or the ability to make it all better. I just don’t have it. Nope. Nada. Zilch.
Typically, or perhaps I should say historically, when I have A Day, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in having these days, I immediately turn against myself. I become the villain in my own life story. To this way of thinking, my pathetic weaknesses are conspiring against me. As if I’m a bad person for not being able to make all the ducks line up. For not wanting to be nice to Kenny at the garage. For not asking after a friend’s injured child when I see her at the store. For not being the specific kind of mother that is required at this particular moment in my own kids’ life.*
But just now (feeling very much like Winnie the Pooh) I had a thought: why is it on me to have answers all the time, to be nice when no one else would be, to be whatever it is my warped view of life thinks I’m supposed to be that I’m not? I’m pretty sure everyone else is going to go ahead and do whatever they were going to do whether I’m having A Day or not. So, maybe I did wish that I could have crawled back under the covers and stayed there all day? I didn’t. I may go there now, several hours before bedtime. But hey, I made it through all those hours in between doing things and going places and not answering life’s questions and not being the nicest person but also never once yelling at anyone or doing anything else that would be too terrible.
So. Enough already. No one gets to have my life answers today. And disorderly ducks are much more entertaining. And I’m a middle-aged mom, get over it. And people don’t notice all that much anyway ….
*On A Day days, I also cannot read home and/or beauty magazines, or look at similar websites or TV shows, nor can I spend a whole lot of time on Facebook, because then I think of all the things I’m not doing or that I’m not doing the right way. Consequently, I wrote this whiny blog. Lucky you!